Understanding Grief: A Journey through Loss and Healing

How Grief Manifests in Our Lives

Grief is a deeply personal journey that can touch every part of our lives. Whether it's the loss of a loved one, a pet, or even adjusting to a new reality like living with a disability, the impact of grief shouldn't be minimized. Beth Gustin, a private practice counselor from Colorado specializing in grief and loss, offers critical insights into how grief affects us and how we can support ourselves and others through difficult times.

Beth explains that grief is unique for everyone and can affect us physically, emotionally, cognitively, spiritually, and behaviorally. She emphasizes that there's no universal way to grieve, and our expressions of grief can range from seeking support groups to immersing ourselves in activities like gardening or work. Understanding this can help us better support those around us who are going through a tough time.

Supporting Others Through Grief

One common question is, how can we best support someone who is grieving? Beth points out that consistency is key. Even if the grieving person isn’t responsive, continuing to check in and offer specific, helpful tasks can make a world of difference.

Avoid asking the generic, “Let me know what you need,” because most people in grief don’t have the capacity to determine what they need. Instead, offer concrete help—pick up the kids from school, bring over frozen meals, or handle household chores like shoveling snow. These small acts of kindness can provide significant relief.

Dealing with Our Own Grief

Handling our own grief can be just as challenging. Beth stresses that it's essential not to bottle up our emotions. Find a way to express your grief, whether it's talking about it, writing in a journal, creating art, or through physical activities like yoga or dance. Grief has a tendency to manifest in physical symptoms if it doesn’t find an outlet, so it's crucial to give it a voice.

Knowing your limits is another critical piece of advice. It’s okay to set boundaries and say no to activities or people that are draining. Conversely, give yourself permission to say yes to things that can help you move forward, even if they are small steps.

The Importance of Recognizing Secondary Losses

When families face changes like moving a parent into assisted living, there are often multiple layers of grief involved, which Beth refers to as "secondary losses." These can include losing social circles, familiarity with surroundings, independence, and even financial freedom. Recognizing these additional layers of loss can help families better support each other and understand the breadth of what is being grieved.

Beth encourages having open conversations with family members to identify and name these different streams of grief. Breaking down the tangle of emotions into identifiable categories can make it easier to address and manage each aspect of the grief process.

What Lies Beyond the Horizon of Grief?

Grief never fully disappears, but it does evolve into something we learn to live with. On the other side of grief lies a renewed sense of purpose, hope, and community. Grief can even open up new chapters in our lives where we have the space to pursue hobbies or activities we couldn't before.

Beth beautifully encapsulates this idea: “We never get over grief; we learn to coexist with it.” Allowing ourselves to feel grief while slowly rebuilding our lives and finding new joys can lead to a fulfilling path forward.

Final Thoughts

Navigating grief, whether it's ours or someone else's, is an ongoing process that requires understanding, patience, and compassion. By recognizing the unique ways grief manifests, offering concrete support, and allowing ourselves and others to feel and express grief, we create an environment where healing can begin.

If you or someone you know is struggling with grief and could benefit from professional support, consider reaching out to a counseling expert like Beth Gustin. At Cell Pops Place, we’re committed to helping you through life's transitions. Book a call today and take the first step towards finding your new normal.